I had a crazy dream a last week involving my life-long love, Johnny Depp. I was sitting in a theater, in the middle of the row (which is so unlike me), when an usher asked me if I would be willing to push Johnny Depp’s wheelchair up to the stage so he could accept an award. Of course I agreed (Duh!), and when they brought Johnny to me in his wheelchair, he was completely naked except for a pair of plaid boxer shorts. His tattoos were even missing.
Anyhow, I wheeled him up to the stage, and he got up from his wheelchair and walked up to the podium to accept his award. While I was waiting with his wheelchair, I noticed that his body was quite a bit more muscular than usual. (Why my mind did this to him, I don’t know, because I really don’t like guys who have bulging muscles.) When he finished accepting his award, he came back down, sat in his wheelchair, and I wheeled him back up the aisle. I couldn’t figure out why he was in the wheelchair or why he hadn’t been clothed, because the next time that I saw him, he was fully clothed, hat, glasses, and all, and walking around just fine with Vanessa on his arm.
Oh, and Johnny decided to give me his goody-bag (you know how all the celebs get a goody-bag at awards shows?) to thank me for helping him out, and it was filled with cool things from Pampered Chef. But that pesky Vanessa had taken out the best stuff before he got a chance to give it to me, which was a bit upsetting to me because, seriously, she’s rich and can afford all of the Pampered Chef stuff she wants, so why did she have to take mine? She’s already got my man, so why does she have to be so greedy?
So, yeah, crazy dream, right? You don’t even want to hear about the one where Sarah and I were both suddenly pregnant. Must be all of those Lifetime movies I watched over the holidays creeping into my brain.